Evening Musings.

I have been working on a super awesome, totally lengthy post about Harry Potter, but it just isn’t quite right yet, which is why Organic Blogging has been pretty silent lately. I get these huge brain waves driving home from class (mainly because it’s an hour drive there and an hour drive back). I can’t really function at 8 am in the morning, so around 1 pm when I am heading home, I get my real pensive thinking done. And mostly, I come up with things I want to blog about.

I always listen to a Harry Potter audiobook on my commute, so the brain waves usually pertain to HP. Whether they make it to a blog post is another thing, but I have such a hard time trying to remember what I was thinking about because so many thoughts cross my mind. Which is the ideal book, by the way.

When I am not thinking of HP, I usually wander over my relationships. I have wonderful relationships with my boyfriend and my family. Those are the most important people in my life, at this point. They are the ones who look out for me and I go to when I need to talk. It’s a hard balance between Jared and my family. I try to mix the two whenever possible, but with Jared’s new job as an underwriter and my family going through some struggles, it has been very stressful trying to please everyone. I just want to make everyone happy in the situation, that I usually forget about my own happiness. I like to believe that if everyone is happy, my happiness will balance out. Which is almost always the case. But it seems to grow more difficult when you are put in a position to choose one over the other.

I have decided to move in with Jared, which is odd because we lived together last year before I had my 7 month internship at Disney, but it seems like this one is more permanent and a much bigger step.  Maybe it’s because I am 23. Or because he has graduated from college. Or because the next natural progression of our relationship would be to get engaged (maybe even before moving in……not the case, though).

What is it with people getting engaged after a few months though?! I don’t want to sound bitter, but I have had goldfish longer than some people’s relationships! What is the rush? I understand if he’s the one, he’s the one. But why get engaged at 20? Why not live your life and see the world? I know this is a terrible example, but if I had been married, I would not have been able to go for an internship at Walt Disney World in Florida. You can’t be selfish in a marriage. You have to put the other person before yourself at all times. (which is a load of hooey if you ask me.) You have needs. I have needs too. We all do. Sometimes, you have to look after yourself before anyone else. Which is why you need to be absolutely sure that you are ready to drop the I, and become a we. I honestly sit here and wonder how many of those relationships actually work in this day and age. My mom was 18 when she got married to my dad, and they are at 30 years of marriage and no sign of an end. But in today’s society, it is so easy to be tempted and give into temptation. Cheating, lying, deceit, disloyalty. It is so easy to do with today’s technology. I’m the farthest person from a non-romantic, but come on.

To wrap up this post, please enjoy this video of a hamster playing on a playground.


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